Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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