Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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