Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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