"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
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