im about as happy as oj after his trial
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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