at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Acid is not a monday night drug
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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