He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I will pee on everything he values.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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