Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
