I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Operation Purity has been aborted
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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