I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
