we have officially lost it.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
