A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
