DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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