so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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