Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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