scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
