you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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