some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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