Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
