Michael Bay diarrhea
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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