Will you blow on my dice?
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
