Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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