smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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