Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
