Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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