I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize