You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
