feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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