marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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