Christians are straight up FREAKS
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
