So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
