good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
