We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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