Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
