I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize