all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
