Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
