Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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