Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Sober January is a disaster.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
