I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
