You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
