Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
