It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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