just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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