you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
