Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
