Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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