They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i barfeds in our rink
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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