People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
