i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
