dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
