We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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