i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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