"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
