so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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