I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
