as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
