Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize