She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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