so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
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