Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
