There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
